My personal overview about the 4 P’s of Marketing in the Mauritian context

I have just finished replying back to my British-French pal, and I remember that one of the main points on which we discussed recently was about Hotmail’s new look, since a new version recently appeared. According to my friend, here is, translated to you in English, an extract of what he thinks about those renovations for new softwares and hardwares in computer:

All organisms change and update our computers and programs without preventing us, nor asking for our opinion. They don’t even ask us whether we would be interested to change them. They always make us believinv that it’s for “improving the performances”and for “security”, which is completely wrong!

Further on, he explained me that, through his own experience with softwares for a couple of 30 years, he had more problems with newly computer designs, whereas he almost never faced any difficulties with the very first brand new computers… It reminds me of my history and economics tuitions I followed when I was still in college, especially on how durable products in the beginning of the century on how products were more durable in the past, but much more expensive. I retrieved the extract of that article, translated in English through Google Translate, which certifies exactly the same problem that my friend told me about, and that extract is logical for those who think that having a cheap product helps you making more economy, which is completely wrong:

But there is one thing we forget is that these wonderful immortal vacuums were very expensive. My mom found the bill for its Electrolux Z325 purchased in 1976: CHF 648.-, about 1125 Euros current counting inflation of 2%. According to [12], only 50% of households had a vacuum cleaner at the end of 1968; If we extrapolate the price reduction of 30% in 8 years of home appliances (ie 4.5% per year), we find that the cleaners now cost about 7.5 times less than in 1968. As an Electrolux vacuum cleaner now costs in 200 Euros, that of our mothers cost the equivalent of 1,500 Euros today. So what vacuum cleaner is cheaper? The Electrolux 1500 Euros over 25 years either 200 4?

This is a translated version of what I obtained from Google Translate which I presented you previously, but I hope that you understood it too. I have noticed that in Mauritius, people rush a lot in supermarkets, for shopping malls or any hobbies and activities proposed in the country for the holidays, only because they are looking after the price according to the budget that they have for their household. Unfortunately, all the products that they buy are, for the most of them, defectuous products that they need to buy again and again after consumption is over, instead of contenting themselves with a more expensive product which will make them gaining more economy.

I remember that, when I was still student at the Mauritius Chamber of Commerce and Industry at the beginning of the 21st century, in Marketing, I studied the principle of the 4 P’s, which consists of Price, Product, Promotion and Placement, and on which I will give you some examples that they are very complex to adapt within the daily social and professional environment, especially in a country like Mauritius, after I share with you that extract which explains those principles perfectly:


The Four Ps Model

  • Product – The first of the Four Ps of marketing is product. A product can be either a tangible good or an intangible service that fulfills a need or want of consumers. Whether you sell custom pallets and wood products or provide luxury accommodations, it’s imperative that you have a clear grasp of exactly what your product is and what makes it unique before you can successfully market it.
  • Price – Once a concrete understanding of the product offering is established we can start making some pricing decisions. Price determinations will impact profit margins, supply, demand and marketing strategy. Similar (in concept) products and brands may need to be positioned differently based on varying price points, while price elasticity considerations may influence our next two Ps.
  • Promotion – We’ve got a product and a price now it’s time to promote it. Promotion looks at the many ways marketing agencies disseminate relevant product information to consumers and differentiate a particular product or service. Promotion includes elements like: advertising, public relations, social media marketing, email marketing, search engine marketing, video marketing and more. Each touch point must be supported by a well positioned brand to truly maximize return on investment.
  • Place – Often you will hear marketers saying that marketing is about putting the right product, at the right price, at the right place, at the right time. It’s critical then, to evaluate what the ideal locations are to convert potential clients into actual clients. Today, even in situations where the actual transaction doesn’t happen on the web, the initial place potential clients are engaged and converted is online.


The politic of price in Mauritius – Food and beverages consumption as the perfect example

The politic of price is the one which appears the most in Mauritius, when it comes on first necessary products like food, beverages, clothing, accessories and on hobbies. As I mentioned before, Mauritians tend to rush wherever supermarkets and shops show promotions and sales, especially when there is flow of stocks. And most of the products that they buy for a cheaper price get damaged easily, create some negative impacts on their health and in their daily use… and also it creates negative impacts in their budget as well. Let’s take an example for food and beverages. Most of the time, people buy stuffs because of the promotion given on the actual price of the product in the market. They do it, either to obtain some special gifts, or they do it because their budget doesn’t allow them to have something better for an expensive price. The result is that, after having consumed those food and beverages products, the unavoidable happens after: people fall sick, and also they have to go to hospital, or to consult a doctor for check-up and for receiving short term or long term treatments. And Mauritius is one of the worst destinations crowded with people suffering with diabetes! Also, the costs get accumulated in their budget: Cost of public transportation for those who have to take a taxi or travel by bus; cost of fuel if they have their own transport to drive; cost of the consultation, treatments and medicines to follow… And above all, so much useless time spent to recover. And if we add all those additional expenses to the cheap food and beverage products that people consume every day, the budget explodes! So what is the need of buying something cheap for consumption, if afterwards it will create such a negative impact on our health and also on our expenses? And why not buying something expensive but efficient today, and which will make us saving money on those additional and also useless procedures to recover our health?

The politic of price on services… Especially when there are some promotional activities organized for tourism

Mauritius is very well known for being varied for its numerous touristic activities and attractions, which are developing more and more to promote tourism and to make of Mauritius one of the best touristic destinations worldwide. They are known to be very expensive, especially since they are high quality services proposed for the tourists, and which unfortunately are avoided by Mauritians themselves because they are too costly. Also, Mauritians can seize the opportunity for enjoying those activities only when there are some promotions shown on local newspapers, on TV or on the Internet. Personally, I already participated into some hotel activities which were cheaper during promotional campaigns for Mauritians, but which were of top quality. Unfortunately, when there are such promotional campaigns, those places are mostly crowdy and very few lucky people succeed into participating in them to have a good day, whereas the other ones have to wait and to queue for long hours until their turn comes up.


The politic of product: From the newly designed high tech products to the good quality products which are inexistent on the market

The politic of product is more complex than the politic of price. You have two kinds of products that Mauritian people are looking for. In one hand, you have a product which is in vogue on the market, and that Mauritian people won’t hesitate to buy. In another hand, but in a rarer case, you have those kind of products which you will never find in the market, nor online, but which requires another kind of marketing by passing through tele-agents, agents or a chain of distribution. Let’s take an example about high tech products. My friend mentioned about the newly laptops and Iphones, who propose some attractive products which may damage easily if an accident occurs, since tactile screens are very delicate and need lots of caring for manipulation. If by accident your screen gets broken, or that you throw some liquid on it while it’s switched on, you will have to bring it to a supplier to repair it. It may take a lot of time to be repaired, and not only you will have to pay for the repair and maintenance of the product, but you will also have to repair for the purchase of some new accessories which will be useful to repair those products. Another kind of product which is rarer, but where the politic of product, this time, is positive, it’s regarding some high quality and durable products which are very expensive, not soldable on the market, and for which you need to pass through an agent of distribution or a chain of distribution. I remember having worked for the account of a chain of distribution, which was selling some high quality pads, which don’t exist on the market, but which had some special virtues on women’s health and comfort during menstruation, compared to other products on the market. I myself bought and tried those products, and they really had a different impact on my health, since I am someone who suffers a lot from menstruating belly pains and high fever. I really felt more comfortable wearing those pads, and was more active and productive in my daily life. But such products are rare, and for this you need to pass through an agent of distribution… and agents aren’t always efficient since they are known to perceive commissions on the product to enrich themselves, and are mostly known as dream sellers when they try to influence people, not only about the product, but also to talk about the product in the aim of making money and becoming more independent. The politics of place and product, then, work hand in hand there, especially in the Mauritian context.


Promotion and Placement: A complex equation, but which works perfectly together for the politics of Price and Product

When you hear about the politic of Placement, it may automatically come in your mind that we are talking about the attractiveness of the shops and especially of the showcases of the shops as from first sight, the radius of supermarkets and the emplacement of those shops and supermarkets regarding their accessibility to the client. In shopping malls, it’s on that detail that shop owners and managers insist the most to attract their customers, either it may be in Mauritius or overseas. When there are some special promotional sales, some showcases present the products together with some stickers showing price reductions, and there we are following the politic of price. There are also some places, where you have shop owners or managers asking for you to come in their shops, either because there are some affordable prices on their products (especially in fairs like in Mauritius), or because they have some attractive products to show to clients, like in the Gold Souq of Dubai, but which necessitate that you haggle a lot with the suppliers since they will tend to give you some good products but at an expensive price, whereas in reality they don’t want to sell their best products and prefer proposing some cheap products instead. The more you haggle, the more they will come to a point that they will have to look for some more attractive products in their store to satisfy your needs. I remember, while writing those lines, that I have had that similar experience when I went to shop my wedding saree with my mother a decade ago. At first, in the shop, I was proposed some sarees which had very ordinary designs and which looked cheaper. But my mother haggled a lot with the shop sellers since she wanted a good product and not something cheap. After ten minutes of haggling, the shop seller finally found in her stock a very beautiful, heavy and attractive sari, which was very expensive, but of very good quality, even though it was heavy. This is the trick that is mostly found in such placements, because it’s a way for them to attract their customers and to, either making the customers paying immediately if they found the perfect item, or keeping the best product for later for being sold to a more fortunate customer.


There is another politic of promotion which is also practised, either with a weak politic of placement, or without politics of placement, and which matches the best with the politic of product than the politic of price, the politic that you will never retrieve in open places, but behind open places, which is the concept of network marketing. This type of network marketing exists for high quality shops and products such as the well known Yves Rocher, Avon and even the Tupperware products, which exist in shops and supermarkets, but which are also sold through meetings or door to door with some agents, who perceive some commissions on the products and make you paying more expensive prices than on supermarkets, drugstores and in shops, since those products are different and of better quality compared to the ones retrieved in supermarkets, drugstores and shops. You also have some agents who operate for a specific shop selling products that you will never retrieve in any markets, but only in their specific shops only. Let’s take the example of the Stanhome products. I remember that, when I was still in Mauritius, I used to buy a lot of those products, which were of very high quality for the laundry and for housekeeping, and of course more durable and more expensive. We used to go in Stanhome shops to buy those products, and we even saw some agents taking the products there according to the demand of their clients, to be delivered at home and to allow the agents to perceive a commission on their sales. Same applied for the Aptamil infant milk, which we retrieve in drugstores and in supermarkets, but which are also delivered at home by agents when there is a high demand, and it allows the agent to perceive a commission on the number of items as well.


The examples I gave you are examples of politic of promotion with weaker placement politic. But now, here are, and this is much rarer, other examples of politic of promotion without placement. Those types of promotion are more discreet, and much rarer, and most of the time criticized for being fraudulous. The first example I will cite is to have a product sold through a chain of distribution, which will allow you at the same time talking about the product and earning some money by being part of that chain of distribution. This is another type of network marketing, which is rarer as it concerns products that you will never retrieve in stores, nor in shops, nor in drugstores nor in supermarkets. I mentioned before about the sanitary pads I bought through that chain of distribution. But not only did I have to use the pads, but I was also influenced by the sellers to talk about the efficiency of the sanitary pad, by being at my turn a part of the chain of distribution, in exchange of being well remunerated in return. Unfortunately, that kind of network marketing, though it’s a very interesting concept, is known to be very fraudulous and known to be dream sellers for those who desperately need extra money for their families. I myself was part of that network marketing for a couple of months without my husband’s consent and had the bitter experience, by being all the time mistreated, criticized, my superiors being unsatisfied with my performances though I was giving the best of myself, and the worst in all was that I already had my own prospects when I started my own network within that chain of distribution, but I was never paid for what they dued to me! The worst was also that this chain of dsistribution wasn’t yet registered and was operating fraudulously for years!


Another example that I have also experienced and which is also a rare case: Companies or people who promote themselves through their products or by being part of other products to have their business being fructified. A friend of mine once saw a documentary stipulating that there are some very affluent businessmen in India who are at the head of high business industries, and who promote their own image to make their business fructifying, by taking part into some soap operas or festivals, so that they would increase their audience more to have their business being fructified. That kind of promotion has a monetary aim, since those actors promote their images for allowing their businesses being fructified, but there are also people who promote themselves without any monetary aim, since they have some further ambitions to become rich and famous over the head of the people they influenced. Also, there, we shouldn’t talk about self promotion, but rather about self bragging. An example I have there is a local celebrity who organizes workshops, conferences and seminars for free in Mauritius, and who uses one of his books as a way to promote his own image, by freely distributing it with his audience after the conference, workshop or seminary is finished, so that he can attract more people besides him to give him his chance becoming more famous and to increase his chances for climbing the steps of his journey into politics. Those same kind of people who later will influence people to work for him for free, and who will afterwards enrich themselves over the back of their blind followers and victims. I never accepted that case before, but I may admit that all the people who were against him and who didn’t understand why he didn’t sell his book in libraries or online were completely right and saw the danger from afar.


For writing that article I didn’t really look for some examples from the Internet, since I succeeded into having some examples as per my personal experience, and which showed about the complexity of the 4 Ps nowadays, and which vary according to each consumer’s and each human being’s needs. The 4 Ps can match all together, partially together or separately according of each human being’s needs and there are no specific rules to interconnect them or not. But promotion and placement are the most dangerous actors among the 4 Ps since they are the most powerful tools to attract people as per their needs and as per their budget. It’s always important then to be well informed about the products, the side effects, what it will bring to your budget, and even be well informed on the placement and on the approach used for the selling of those products and regarding the quality of the product itself if we don’t want to be trapped. Unfortunately very few people will think about doing it before purchasing anything, since they are too much in a hurry to satisfy their needs, and they tend to do it mostly when they have either good or bad experiences with the product. So we should act quickly before it’s too late.




Women and Veil- When Occident and Orient meet

The idea of writing that blog post emerged from my mind since this morning, after I have finished replying to a friend’s email. However, since I am going to treat there a delicate matter in my writing, I will have to be very careful on how I will choose my words for not hurting anyone, though I am reputed for slapping people with my purposes and my too big frankness.

First of all, let’s see the cover picture of my blog post. This is a canvas oil painting entitled “The Orient and the Occident” by Belgian painter Nicaise de Keyser. It represents two women, an occidental one together with an oriental one. Both are topless, with some jewelleries, flowers and the oriental woman with a veil on her hair. That picture says it all, showing that whatever those women wear in their respective countries and cultures, they are both showing the same parts of their body together, and they are in perfect harmony with each other. If that painting showed it perfectly, then why is that so different in reality life? And how is it that the veil is such a taboo thing among the years for women?

The Nasir al Mulk Mosque in Shiraz, Iran

During our latest email exchanges, I explained to my friend about our future projects to leave Seychelles for permanent settlement in Abu Dhabi, since my husband found a job there and that we may move in a couple of weeks, as long as we succeed into finding a school for our young son there. My friend mentioned that among the countries that he visited before, he would like again to visit Iran. Since I know very few about the Iranian culture, at the exception of what I see in the media regarding the conflicts between the American Government and the Iranian Government for Iran’s nuclear programme, I was in admiration in front of the beautiful wild mountainous and desert landscapes, filled with its worldwide unique architecture. But what attracted my attention the most was about the pictures of beautiful women in Iran. Some of them had lovely and colorful traditional clothes alike the ones worn by female characters from the 1001 Arabian Nights, some of them were wearing the traditional burqa in public… But most astonishing, some of them were also wearing a warrior quilt in Ancient Iran paintings… or were even dressed in sexy and modern outfits, which astonishingly resemble the kind of clothing worn nowadays by Occidental women, before the Islamic Revolution exploded in that country, as well as in several Middle Eastern countries in the world!


I remember also having had a conversation with a Muslim friend of mine from Konkan, Maharashtra, India, where she mentioned about all the havoc made around the veil for women. She doesn’t understand how it could be that, when a Christian nun wears the veil, she is someone pious, whereas when a Muslim woman is wearing the veil, she is considered as oppressed.

Indian model and actress Gaia Sophia Hayat, known before for her provocative looks, stunned the whole world after she turned into a nun.

I remember that recently, I was looking for some pictures of Lord Ganesha to send greetings to all my Hindu friends and relatives for the annual Hindu religious festival Ganpati, where the Elephant God Lord Ganesha is highly worshipped. While I was looking for those pictures, I saw a picture of Indian model and actress Gaia Sophia Hayat, who now became a nun, who was bowing before a statue of Lord Ganesha for that special occasion. The fact that such a hot item like her, who was reputed for her provocative dressings and hot scenes in front of the camera, created a shock through her reconversion as a nun, has created a huge vague of hatred and anger from all her fans, who treated her as someone hypocrite and who was mocking God and mocking herself, as per the comments from one of the readers, I quote, “The motive behind being a nun is to get away from limelight and help others,be near to god..but it seems she has become nun only to get more attention. What an idiot. Media is giving her what she wanted“. Maybe that reader was right, especially since Gaia is still in front of the camera to show her reconversion instead of being more discreet in front of the media. Also, are nuns really pious people nowadays, are acting by hypocrisy by pretending to be pious people? I remember also having read an article posted by a compatriot of mine regarding Mother Teresa, whom everyone worshipped as a Saint. According to that article, doctors don’t believe about any miracle from Mother Teresa, since all her patients and poor people have been cured in the same poor and insane hygienic conditions for decades and decades, instead of modernized hospitals which could provide better cures for the poor. The way the Mother Teresa’s Missionaries of Charity still exercise through the years, despite the incredible economic boom in India, and the medical progress that they made and which put India among the best countries providing the best medical services and products, was purely described as a “museum of poverty”. And yet, lots of people still worship Mother Teresa as a saint, because she took the veil and did so many charity actions among all the years since the World War II.

French-Cypriot hip hop singer Diam’s before and after her conversion to Islam

Now, let’s see another framework, the veil worn by the Muslim women. For those who never heard about her, I am introducing you French-Cypriot hip hop singer Diam’s, who was known for her incredible frankness in all her texts, in which she denounced about so many social facts such as child abuse, sexual allegations, the way education is promoted in schools, the actual French government, etc. Suddenly, Diam’s shocked the world by taking a decision of her own, converting herself to Islam.  According to an interview in French that she gave, and further to an autobiography that she wrote, simply entitled “Diam’s”, the ex Hip Hop artist revealed that she converted into Islam because it was a personal choice that she did after lots of deep reflections, and she clearly explained that wearing the veil should not be interpreted as an act made by women under oppression, exactly as per the image of my friend from Konkan, who proudly wears her veil when she goes for prayers together with her newly wed husband. Here is the translation of the purposes explained by Quebecois anthropologist Geraldine Mossiere regarding the choice of women to convert into Islam:

We can distinguish several types of conversions. First of all, “mystical” women, who are few numerous, who convert in Sufism and excel in their new religion within feminine communities. Then, the “love” conversion, which is the case for most of the women whom I met. Not necessarily converting themselves for marriage purposes, but as a gift, as a proof of love. It’s at the same time an intimate exchange and a religious fact. Through conversion, they show to the significant other that they are linked to him. Finally, I have met several women who showed high interest into the Arab world, language, trips… They converted within the framework of a more spiritual than religious aim. I have never been working in some regions where social oppression was strong, but according to me, there are very few imposed conversions.

Women whom I questioned had, for most of all, chosen to veil themselves. They veiled themselves after conversion, sometimes several years after. Most of them are “accommodating” and say “I wear the veil in public places, but I remove it when I arrive at office if I am asked to do so.” Others wear the veil in a mostly intransigent way and are forced to organize their life as per that choice. They then become housewives, independent workers or self-employed. They are then isolated from a part of working environment, but not from their social life.

Negative comments made on those conversions refer to a fear and a lack of historical knowledge on Islam. But it especially refers to a question of self choice from women in society. It’s an archaic meaningful reflex regarding the distinction between men and women. Some decades ago, it was hard to accept working women were considered as negative, as well nowadays, it’s hard to consider women who choose on their own to embrace Islam. Above the religious aspect, this is the continuity of the vision of the women being inferior to men, of the women who struggle to take their own decisions and to assume them. Regarding the burqa, several surveys demonstrate that women wearing it are, for the most of them, converted women.


I really enjoyed reading the last paragraph of that interview, and which reflects whatever most of us judge behind the wearing of the veil by Muslim women. But, though the Quebecois anthropologist defended the veil wearing for Muslim women as a personal choice, there is still unfortunately a part of truth on what Occidental people think about the veil as an oppression clothing for women. Like I have mentioned before, I have seen several pictures of Middle Eastern women, mostly Persian women from Afghanistan and from Iran, and how they were dressed before the Iranian Revolution, known also as the Islamic Revolution, as per the picture that you saw above that paragraph. To better understand how suddenly women are forced to wear the veil in those countries, I saw that extract below from Wikipedia, which explained better how veil became a symbol of oppression in those countries, and no more a personal choice, and that it was mostly because of the political tensions which shook their beliefs during the Iranian Revolution:

Islamic Republic[edit]

Main article: Women in Iran

Women and the Iranian Revolution[edit]

Women participated heavily in the Iranian Revolution of 1979 that overthrew the Shah.[3][5][6]

When the Iranian Revolution started, in 1977, many women protested by marching in frequented areas and women chose to wear chadors as a sign of protest. Because the first Pahlavi Shah banned the use of the hijab, many women decided to show their favor for Ayatollah Khomeini, by wearing a chador, thinking that this would be the best way to show their support without having to be vocal.[7] Many women that did not previously choose to wear the chador (before the banning of the hijab) only wore this highly modest garb to show their high levels of support for the Ayatollah and aversion to the Shah. Another way the chador helped in Iranian society was it enabled women to be a unified force. Similar to many societies, women were separated into different social classes and by the use of the chador many would feel equality amongst all classes of women fighting for the same cause.

Not with-standing this, in the Islamic Republic of Iran, Ayatollah Khomeini severely curtailed rights that women had become accustomed to under the shah.[5] Within months of the founding of the Islamic Republic of Iran, the 1967 Family Protection Law was repealed; female government workers were forced to observe Islamic dress code; women were barred from becoming judges; beaches and sports were sex-segregated; the legal age of marriage for girls was reduced to 9 (later raised to 13); and married women were barred from attending regular schools.[3]

Almost immediately women protested these policies.[5][8] The Islamic revolution is ideologically committed to inequality for women in inheritance and other areas ofthe civil code; and especially committed to segregation of the sexes. Many places, from “schoolrooms to ski slopes to public buses”, are strictly segregated.[9]


See also: Hijab

The hijab today in Iran includes the choice of either a chador or a roopoosh and veil. The chador is a highly modest, usually black or dark outfit that covers the top of a woman’s head and loosely covers her body to her feet. The roopoosh or manteau is a long top similar to a trench coat. “The dress needs to be appropriate according to the Islamic custom of hejab (veil): women are not required to be veiled in front of mahram relatives such as husband, father, son, brother, but are required to be “modest” if they are likely to be seen by na-mahram males.” [10]

The distinction between private and public space often depends on a woman’s social class. There are places that have an obvious public distinction such as markets, offices, and streets that are public to all; but when homes are considered there is a difference. Many upper-class homes in Iran have a reception room where na-mahram guests are received and entertained. This room is usually very well decorated and women typically do not go in this room but stay in the rest of the house while a guest is over. A woman that does not have a reception room in her house would have to rush to get properly dressed before her husband would answer the door. If a woman is by herself or just in the company of other women in the home, the door would not be answered because na-mahram men and women would not have business together.

“Bad hijab” ― exposure of any part of the body other than hands and face – is subject to punishment of up to 70 lashes or 60 days imprisonment.[11][12] In April 2007, the Tehran police, (which is under Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei‘s supervision), began the most fierce crackdown on what is known as “bad hijab” in more than a decade. In the capital Tehran thousands of Iranian women were cautioned over their poor Islamic dress and several hundred arrested.[13]

Finally, when I pasted those extracts, a question came in my mind: We all blame the wearing of veil as an oppression action above Muslim Women. But how is it that the veil for Christian women isn’t a symbol of oppression but as a symbol of respect? And the answer came from that Muslim Facebook member, who described the wearing of the veil as important as well for Christian women as per the Holy Bible, but unfortunately a tradition which doesn’t exist anymore among the generations and the fact that not wearing it anymore is highly appreciated worldwide instead of being blamed:

Hijab is not just for Islam, it is also a requirement in Christianity, and not just for the nuns.:

Corinthians 11:5-10 ‘but every woman that prayeth of prophesieth with her head uncovered, dishonoureth her head’.

Corinthians 11:13 ‘judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman prays unto God (with her head) uncovered’.

Why is it that people don’t want to ban nunn’s headcovering and clothes, but the whole world shakes and parliaments and governments hold emergency meetings when a young muslim girl puts on the hijab?

Is it because those who have usurped the rights of God can’t stand a pure muslim girl deciding to be obedient to God so then she must be freed from her oppression, must learn to be liberated, and her hijab must be banned ?

Muslim women wear it out of their OWN FREEWILL too. Majority of Muslim women dont cover their faces as it is not obligatory but the majority of scholars say that the face veil (niqab) is highly recommended.

And last, Catholics and some Christians have in their homes and churches pictures and statues of the supposedly Virgin Mary (may Allah be pleased with her) to whom they bow to in honor and she is covered like a Muslim… some of those same people look at Muslim women as oppressed, Subhana’allah this is schizophrenia at best!


I wouldn’t end there by sharing you a part of my personal religious experience. As I mentioned in my blog post regarding my choice for embracing Hinduism after marriage, I was Roman Catholic, then Anglican, then Christian before total conversion to Hinduism after marriage. Before marriage, when I was praying at home or going to church, I never experienced the fact that I should wear a veil on my hair to go to church, like women used to do in Church in the 19th Century like demonstrated in some scenes from Brasilian Telenovela “Dona Beija“, which I loved watching together with my mother during my teenage years. Each time that I was going to church, I used to go without veil, as long as I was going there with a respectful dressing code. After conversion to Hinduism, I very rarely covered my head during prayers, except when I had to take part into prayers at home held by a Hindu Priest, or if I had to go to Temple as a part of respect. But when I prayed at home, I admit that by ignorance, I was praying with hair free, which was badly seen in Hinduism, since according to my elders, though I never could find any link with that, women who pray in Hindu temples with free hair are mostly depicted as Dayaans, who practise Hindu witchcrafts by worshipping Goddess Kali within some secret communities to fulfill the requests from their clients to cause trouble in their victims’ lives. But in several parts of India, though, it’s not depicted as obligatory to wear the veil to go to Temple and pray, and it’s just a question of social traditions, like the extract hereafter. But since I was asked by my elders not to pray hair free, then I always tie my hair with a clip, and at times wear a veil during family prayers and in temples:


Visitors and worshipers to Hindu temples are required to remove shoes and other footwear before entering. Additionally, it may be customary, particularly at South Indian temples, for men to remove shirts and to cover pants and shorts with a traditional cloth known as a vasthiram

Most rituals in North Indian temples are very simple in stark contrast to South Indian temples, which have elaborate practices. For example, a strict dress code exists for people who wish to enter the Guruvayur Temple. Men are to wear around their waist, without any dress covering their chest. Girls and women are not allowed to wear any trouser-like dresses or short skirts. They are allowed to wear a sari, and girls are to wear long skirts and blouses. Presently the dress code for women has been relaxed, and salwar kameezes or churidar pyjamas are being allowed.

North Indian temples often tend to be less orthodox. Like all other temples in India, footwear is strictly prohibited. Unlike in northern India, in Kerala and other southern Indian states, Hindu women do not cover their heads in temples. In traditional north Indian homes, women still cover their head in front of in-laws and elders as a sign of appreciation and respect. Thus, covering the hair in temples is mostly a north Indian custom and is not mandatory. It is an outward sign of displaying feelings of deep respect, humility and gratitude towards the Divine.


The veil being worn by women in society and during praise and worshiping still remains complex for all of us. Diam’s mentioned in a quote in French that people rose up the veils to sail, but they also succeeded into removing the veil that she had in front of her eyes. But according to me, where is the true place of the woman’s veil? In front of her eyes, like a mask to blind people, like Diam’s mentioned it? Or in all our body, but unveiling the eyes only? Antoine de St Exepury once wrote that we can only see clearly with the heart, and that the essential is invisible for the eyes. The picture below perfectly illustrates it… As well as it’s also very contradictory. Also, in that purpose, is it possible then to create a link between the heart and the eyes to allow both of them clearly see together?



I’m never gonna say I’m sorry for one thing: TRUTH!

Malin and Jenny Cecilia from Ace of Base, performing on music video “Never Gonna Say I’m Sorry” (1996)


Click here for the video of the clip “Never Gonna Say I’m Sorry” from Ace of Base

Never gonna say I’m sorry – Ace of Base

I’m never gonna say I’m sorry
I’m a clown for everyone
I’m never gonna let you down,
I’m always here like a sun

I’m a loser, that is a fact for sure
I’m happy even if you don’t want
To invite me out for a dance tonight
I’m not normal, I know it, I don’t care

I’m never gonna say I’m sorry
I’m a clown for everyone
I’m never gonna let you down,
I’m always here like a sun

I’m never gonna say I’m sorry
I’m a clown for everyone
I’m never gonna let you down,
I’m always here like a sun

I’m always here like a sun, I’m always here

Like a ghost I follow your steps so true
You don’t have to bribe me or fill me up
Give me a minute to shine with you
I will make you so happy, make you laugh

I’m never gonna say I’m sorry for the essence of my soul
There’s so many ways to change my life
‘Cause I want to…oh
I’m like a clown, I am fun for everyone…

I’m never gonna say I’m sorry…

I am sharing those lyrics from one of the tunes on which I enjoyed dancing and singing during my teenage years, since I have an important message to spread to all my readers about why I have no regrets, further to the latest blog posts that I recently published on my blog, in which I shared with my readers several fragments of my personal and family life. I admit I may have shocked so many of my readers with my personal views. But I’m never gonna say I’m sorry.


Why should I be sorry for telling the truth and for revealing to the world the true part of me that no one wants to see, but that everyone needs to see? I remember that a friend of mine very often wrote me that, in our exchanges of emails. People write only to please the audience and to be paid, but there’s nothing true nor sincere in whatever they are writing. Do you remember the text that once I wrote, “Jo March and Proofreading“? This is the typical example of the fake story vs the true story. Remember how her first book she wrote was rejected, despite so many days of hard work from Jo. All this because, though the book was perfectly written, the story was meaningless and not interesting at all. But when Jo’s younger sister Beth passed away, for the first time Jo opened her heart through the lines she wrote within one whole night, and that time her novel was published, because the voice of the heart was there.


Through that example, that is why, even though I admitted in that post that proofreading is necessary when you sell your book, I am deep inside myself against proofreading. I don’t care whether my English is insufficient. I know that my English is insufficient. But what is worth for my readers? A sincere message written in a poor English? Or a hypocrite message written in a perfect English? I still remember the harsh words from my ex-best friend, who highly criticized me for writing average college English instead of having the English level of her Majesty the Queen! HAHAHAHAHA! WTF again! And what made me laughing was that it made her really sick that I wrote in average English😀 Sorry for you my dear ex-best friend… I may not write in the perfect English of Her Majesty the Queen, but at least I am showing my true colors… So sorry for you if I caused you disease for being real, but unfortunately I have no cure against that disease I caused to you… Tata bye bye… And get well soon, dear Miss Perfect English!


Have you heard about the French quote which says “Too polite to be honest?” Yes, we are too polite in society because we have been taught by our parents to be polite since we were born. Yes, we are too well-mannered because we have been taught by our parents to be well-mannered. The mask of politeness and of good manners is in front of everyone’s faces, and perfectly covers people’s true colors. Exactly like make-up does, like I wrote it on my previous post about my Lokni’s wedding.


I once remembered that my mother told someone those words which today make me smile: “My daughter is polite… But it stops here.” Which means that for her, I am nothing else than an empty canned box which makes a lot of noise, but which has anything inside herself. If that’s her opinion, then it suits me perfectly🙂 Indeed, you are never judged for what you represent deep inside yourself, but only through the appearance that you show in front of people nah? You judge people and things through what you see, and not with the heart, don’t you? This is whatever lots of people tend to do nowadays, and that’s what encourages a lot of people to wear a mask when they are in public. Why? Because they are scared. They are scared of being true, of being themselves. They are scared about the hearabouts, the critics, or whatever people may think about them. But wait a minute… Who are we to judge others? No one is perfect. Only God can judge us. Only God can determine the good and the bad within each of us. So why should we remain prisoner of that motherf*****g mask of hypocrisy, just to “please people”? Why is that easier for us to wear that mask of torture only to please people? It seems that we are really masochist nah? Because we prefer torturing our true inner self to please other imperfect humans like us… Instead of being true and having the guts to disturb the aura of hypocrite people and hypocrite society. Soooooooo sad!!!

Madonna – “Truth or Dare” song video


But this is not only in that purpose that I decided to write that blog post today. I would like to write that blog post since I would like to salute, encourage and support a group of people in my country who perfectly understood that the concept of wearing a mask was completely ridiculous. A group of people behind that project, who live their lives in total transparency, in public, with their family, in private and in their professional and academical lives. Without those people, we would have never known the meaning of TRUTH, and believe me, TRUTH is REALLY what Mauritius needs to be unstuck from the numerous diseases which made of it a sick and hypocrite society. Because of COMMUNALISM. Because of RACISM. Because of INSANE COMPETITION. Because of SUPERFICIALITY due to… Zee TV? Bollywood blockbusters? Telenovelas? Intox in several media and newspapers? Yes! ALL OF THEM! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome with a BIG CLAP the brand new online news room “Made in Mauritius”, where “only the truth, and nothing but the truth” is their policy: THE ELEPHANT.MU!


The idea behind that project comes from the mind of a Mauritian youth who wanted, not only to bring something new to the Mauritian media, but who wanted to demonstrate, together with a group of people, how we should spread the media and also our opinions in total transparency in Mauritius, and that it’s important to be well informed before you write anything or comment on any other opinion. That same Mauritian youth, unfortunately, has been so many times victim of lots of haters, who didn’t hesitate to spread fake rumors about some so-called controversies, for which he claimed his innocence. But contrary to other people who won’t hesitate to bark to claim their innocence, he preferred opting for silence and for moving on. I give him right. Because dogs bark only when they don’t know people they see in their territory, right? So let the dogs bark and move on… And that is his life philosophy, on which I completely agree. The people who barked against him thought that they could destroy him, but instead, he made of their barking his new war whoop against lies, hypocrisy, intox and superficiality. The Elephant.Mu is that brave youngster’s war whoop. His team’s war whoop. But also EVERY MAURITIAN CITIZEN’S WAR WHOOP.

Sanctuary of Truth in Pattaya – Thailand


But one question I asked myself when I saw the name of the news room and its purpose was… But what is the link between the truth and the elephant? I then did some researches and then saw an ancient Indian Folklore about the Blind Men and the Elephant, which, according to that source, “tells the story of six blind sojourners that come across different parts of an elephant in their life journeys. In turn, each blind man creates his own version of reality from that limited experience and perspective. In philosophy departments throughout the world, the Blind Men and the Elephant has become the poster child for moral relativism and religious tolerance.” I saw another interesting source about that link since I saw the picture from the sanctuary of Truth in Pattaya, which was described in that source as “a very special place where Thai culture as well as religion, art and philosophy come together in perfect harmony.” Another proof on how elephant and truth perfectly match together. The statue of the three-headed elephant God known in Thailand as Erawan, which also represents the Hindu God Airavata, and is also a form of representation of the Hindu Trilogy Brahma the Creator, Vishnu the Keeper and Mahesh/Shiva the Destroyer, like depicted in that article. As you may have noticed, there are so many philosophies which turn around the link between the truth and the elephant. The articles about the three-headed elephant, and how it’s depicted in several Asian countries and in India coincides with the different perceptions of truth about the elephant from the blind men, for finally agreeing together that it’s an elephant that they have been touching. Each of the team members and bloggers who contribute into developing that interesting news room represents a fragment of that team based on “the truth, and nothing but the truth”, and each of them has a fragment of truth to bring and on which everyone will end by concluding that together, they all built… The Truth. Finally, another detail which came in my mind regarding that link between the truth and the elephant is about a video clip I once saw on YouTube, “Eyes of Truth” from Enigma, which depicts the scene of a young mother who sends her baby on a floating cot on a sacred river to an unknown destination. The mother is seen praying God Surya to protect her child. The child grows up and has an elephant as animal companion, which brings him to a sacred town where he is welcomed with flowers all over his pathway, in the same way Lord Jesus was welcomed as the Messiah in the Town of Jerusalem. After he reaches the soil, the baby is taken under the care of a mother elephant, who will become his animal companion and bring the young boy to a journey, where he will discover at the same time the beauty of Nepal, and also how the human being is destroying its beauty by putting fire in it. At the end of his journey, he is welcomed in that sacred city, where he is worshipped like a God Child, before quietly continuing his journey with the elephant. Truth exists within the eyes of every child, and what is sad is that we all forgot that we had an inner child within us, since we are enrobed in that world of superficiality, lies and hypocrisy every day.

Moscow and Paris

I remember having recently read an article regarding the unforgettable experience of a French tourist who visited Russia, and who went back to his country with so many Russian friends and wonderful memories, which encouraged him to come back again. And when he came back after several years, though the political relationship between both countries recently deteriorated, his same Russian friends welcomed him with arms wide open and with the same kindness and hospitality, regardless to the political tensions between the two countries. This is another part of truth that we tend to base ourselves on: We base ourselves on what our Leaders are showing us, all this because… The example comes from above. I don’t agree on that point. The example comes from both above and below, and there the example should come from below. If the simple French citizen befriended the simple Russian citizen, then why shouldn’t two political leaders of those same countries take example on their friendship, which is a simple and pure friendship without any bias? This is another example on how the human being, when he becomes popular, makes his life and relationships complicated, whereas a simple truth between that French tourist and his Russian friends could perfectly attract their attention to improve their political relationship, not only for them both, but also for their own nations.

The VW Factory in Germany


Finally, I would like to share with you all another point: One day, I saw an interesting building picture taken in Germany, but which unfortunately I couldn’t retrace back to share it with you. Meanwhile, I saw the one above during my researches, representing the VW factory in Germany, and which was a transparent building. This picture reminded me of another transparent building, maybe one of the rarest ones, that we have in Mauritius, which is our famous Mauritius Commercial Bank Building in Ebene, where you can openly see people working and moving in total transparency, including in the office restaurant on the groundfloor. Buildings are also a proof of total transparency that people are making some honest work, and I pray that one day, The Elephant.Mu has a building like that. That Mauritian youth who had the good idea to create that concept is also the leader of two national movements, “YUVA Mauritius” and “La Voix Nationale“, and they also kept on proving since the very beginning that all what they do are in total transparency, regardless to whatever people may say against them. And if people talk against them, it’s simple: Because The Elephant.Mu, YUVA Mauritius and La Voix Nationale are proclaimers of the TRUTH, and because TRUTH really DISTURBS the Mauritian society, which prefers basing itself on sugar-coated appearances to be happy. But it’s time now for our society to change and to be settled on TRUTH BASIC, if we want our little island’s image to be taken as a perfect example of good governance and of good art of living for the Indian Ocean, the African Continent, the Commonwealth and the Rest of the World. So WAKE UP, Mauritius! And never feel sorry for telling the truth. Instead, be sorry for opting for the fake and change yourself. Because like Michael Jackson once sang, “If you wanna make the world a better place, just take a look at yourself, then make a change!”

My Lokni’s Wedding ceremony and the Elegant Monsters who assisted it

I have had the idea of writing that blog post tonight before going to bed, but I couldn’t find the proper words before to write them. I needed to do a few researches to have the appropriate words for expressing what I am actually feeling in the heart right now. So here I am tonight with that new blog post.


First of all, let’s see the first part of the title, which is “My Lokni’s wedding”. First of all, for those who don’t know about the Lokni, it’s the definition, in Hindu marriage, of the bridesmaid, or of the bride’s companion. In that article defining the Lokni as per Ancient Scriptures, in the past the bride was accompanied with servants. Then through the years, she was accompanied by an elder person from her family who could be either her Dadi (paternal grandmother) or Nani (maternal grandmother). But through the years, since women became more mature and literate, they got more comfortable with environment with their in-laws and were then simply accompanied by a younger female relative. That was my case when I got married in January 2005. It was my elder cousin’s daughter who was chosen to be my Lokni. As per the Hindu traditions existing in Indo-Mauritian families, the Lokni especially had the duty of sleeping next to the bride, whereas the groom had to sleep on the floor or on a separate mattress, since none of the newly married partners are supposed to have sexual relations before the Chawthari, which is the marriage lunch offered by the bride’s family on the next day after her wedding. Everything went on well, and I may say that my relationship with my family was rather okay during that period.


More than eleven years elapsed after marriage, but meanwhile so many things changed in my relationships with my in-laws as well as with my own family. From the united bonds that united both our families, those families of ours (my husband’s family and my family) turned from friends to enemies, since a huge conflict between my parents and my in-laws took part 2 years after our marriage, and unfortunately remained unsolved despite so many temptations especially from my in-laws’ side to have all things sorted out and for a definitive reconciliation for the sake of my relationship with my husband and our respective in-laws, and also for the future of our marriage life. That also had a repercussion on my relationship with my Lokni. From closed relatives, we then turned to total strangers, and I could never fulfill the promise I did to her parents to become her Lokni when she would get married at her turn, since because of those conflicts, I became the rejected black sheep of the family, even though I chose of my own will to reject all my family and even my own parents for all being against me, against my marriage and against my in-laws after those conflicts took place. You can read again more details about how my relationship with my family and my parents drastically changed for the worse in my previous blog about Naomi Campbell which I wrote this morning.


One month ago, I got informed that my Lokni was getting married. I never got that news through a wedding card invitation, contrary to my in-laws, whom my Lokni’s parents though had the kindness to invite, and contrary to all my other family members including my parents… I got the news through my Lokni’s elder sister, who called me to inform me that she was going to her younger sister’s wedding, and who even had the guts to say that she kept a good relationship with my mother since she was thankful to my mother for her love and care as an elder aunty when she was still a little girl, whereas she knew very well all the struggles I have been accumulating because of my mother and that she pretended to be besides me. But because of a bloody bastard, a so-called prophet who made of me one of his blindest followers, and whom I succeeded escaping from with a lot of difficulties, our friendship was broken, and this because I myself rejected my Lokni’s elder sister, who was also my niece, for the sake of that ravenous wolf! I deeply regretted what I did and I apologized with my niece, but the coincidence was that, just after we reconciled, she suddenly sent me a message telling me that she decided to keep a good relationship with my mother because it was a relative! I was so shocked and angry that I interpreted that sudden decision as a sort of revenge she had against me, and also I rejected her completely from my life, which created a big scandal afterwards from her part, where her husband didn’t even hesitate to involve mine in our matters, a matter concerning only the both of us, me and my niece! I really wanted to attack my niece’s husband for what he did with mine, but my husband, who knew about my short temper very well, begged me to keep quiet and not to reply back to none of them. I also followed his advice and kept my distance from the both of them for a long time, until one day, my niece passed a message to my husband to apologize for what happened the last time, and explaining that she came to discover about my mother’s true colors when my mother dared approaching one of my niece’s friend, whom she never knew, and told so many sarcastic things to her. I thought that this time, my niece’s eyes got definitely open and that she trusted me about the truth regarding my mother… Until that famous phone call which troubled me more, though I didn’t object about the fact she wanted to keep a good relationship with my mother that time. What pricked me though was that she was trying to choose her words to influence me, so that I would reconcile with my mother. Me reconciling with my mother? No thank you! And to know more, the Naomi Campbell blog post I wrote will explain you all the reasons why it’s impossible, and frankly speaking, I don’t want it! I know she will never change, I know she will never recognize her mistakes, I know very well that she is fooling a lot of people by pretending that she is unhappy without me and that I am rude against her regarding her past mistakes with my in-laws, but as far as I know her very well, all I know is that all of those speeches or nothing else but HYPOCRISY, BULLSHIT AND LIES, and that she is playing a perfect comedy to fool naïve people like my niece and so many other ones, though my niece pretended having known all sorts of people and of having seen in my mother someone sincere when she was telling those purposes. I related all the conversation that I had with her to my husband, and my husband was categoric about a point: My niece was LYING! She was simply sent by my mother to try to influence me about a reconciliation with my mother and to create a mess between me and my husband like she always did in the past with her selfishness and by appearing suddenly for afterwards disappearing for a long period like an elf in the forest! It was hard to accept, but it was true. My niece, by acting like this, was not only revenging because of what happened because of that ravenous wolf, but she also betrayed me for the sake of my worst enemy, forgetting 28 years of pure sisterhood between the both of us and how I have been standing besides her for all those years when she had no one to support her nor to encourage her during both her moments of joy and sorrow. 28 years that she didn’t hesitate to throw away in the dustbin… But that this time, contrary to the other years, she will never recover anymore, since I decided once for all to put fire in those 28 years in my heart to destroy them into ashes. At the end of the account finally, I never came to that wedding (and the summon wanted that she influenced me to come alone without my husband and my son, please!) whereas my niece quietly came with her husband, and this without any remorse!


Another monster was present to that wedding and was another niece of mine, who started her activity a couple of years ago as barrister lawyer. With that niece, I have known 25 years of intense sisterhood since we were children. We were extremely close to each other exactly like I was with the other niece, we shared all our secrets and were united like the fingers of one hand. Unfortunately, even with that niece, things got worse when I was supposed to leave my native country for the Seychelles. One afternoon, while my son was napping in our little house, I was sitting in the living room in front of my computer. My husband wasn’t here, since he was overseas for an important mission, which made that I had to come back to Mauritius temporarily until he would be back in Seychelles. Suddenly, my niece called me from Rodrigues, where she was permanently settled for an important mission, and then, as I was so naïve and blindly trusted her, I revealed to her that we were settled in the Seychelles and I even begged her not to tell a word to anyone! I thought I could trust her… Unfortunately I was wrong! By coincidence, the next day, my father called my father-in-law and asked my father-in-law whether it was true that we were settled in the Seychelles! My father-in-law had no other option than telling the truth to my father, and my father did a real emotional blackmail with my father-in-law on the phone! If my father came to know that we were settled in the Seychelles, either he tried to call my husband’s ex-colleagues who told him the truth, or simply he had the information through my niece herself, since she is used to reveal everything to her mother, and that her mother is very close to my parents, especially to my mother! And when I questioned my niece, the aggressivity she used to defend herself clearly made me understanding that she was the culprit… And effectively, a few days after my secret was revealed to everyone in my family, my poor little boy fell ill when he came back to Seychelles with a very high fever for about one week, and we had suspicion that it could come only from my niece who was known to be very jealous of her other relatives if they succeeded in their marriage life, whereas she hasn’t yet found a life partner! I suspected, on those bias, that she was the culprit and that she lied to me when she said she didn’t say anything to anyone, whereas she could as well have said it by slip of the tongue. And I am sure that it’s the reason why she never came back to me afterwards, instead of insisting to be in touch with me… Her silence meant it all, and was sealed also by another detail: A few months before that last conversation of ours, she told me that my mother kept on asking her if we were in touch with each other and she lied by saying no, though we were secretly in touch with each other. One day, my mother gifted her a pair of fantasy gold earrings with an assorted fantasy gold chain, for which my niece said she never wore it and was waiting for an opportunity to offer those jewels to someone else. But I am sure the jewels are still with her, and if my mother offered her those jewels, it was in exchange of revelations about me she wanted my niece to reveal… Exactly like the thirty pieces of silver given to Juda to betray our Lord Jesus Christ!


I never went to that marriage, but my in-laws went to the marriage by duty for the Lokni herself. My mother-in-law gave me a few details regarding a few relatives she had the pleasure to meet again, but regarding my mother, she made me laughing when she said that she changed her haircut for a straight and square hair style, whereas she is already 70 years old😀 But in my mind, I was imagining the whole marriage scene, with the heavy beautiful decoration, the beautiful wedding ceremony held as per the Vedic tradition that my niece was following, and most of all, I was imagining all those women wearing very elegant and colorful saris, with perfect red mani-pedi, some of them with elegant henna designs painted on their feet and hands for the occasion, and above all with heavy make up applied on their faces to appear attractive in pictures and in front of the camera.


When I thought about all that, I then remembered a very lovely article that I retraced on my WordPress reader, entitled “My complicated relationship with make-up as an Indian woman“. According to the author of that lovely text, make-up, in Indian culture, is not only a way to express one woman’s feminity. It’s also a part of their art of living, of their philosophy of life, and a tradition. The philosophy of make-up, as per the ancient Sanskrit pictures, is called “Shringaar”, and, as per the author of that article, dates from Ancient Scriptures from the 2nd Century as a way for women to seduce their partners. I also saw an interesting article relating the whole history of make-up in Ancient Civilizations worldwide, and how it got spread among generations, in rites, rituals and even in women’s daily habits.


As per the Ancient Times, make-up is a “must” for every women, since, according to Roman philosopher Plautus, “a woman without paint is like a plate without salt”. Wouldn’t it then be a sort of oppression for those women then to use cosmetics to look more attractive? According to me, yes, it’s a sort of oppression more than a way to express their feminity and to look more esthetical. And that translation of the Hindi poem in introduction of the Hindi short movie “Shringaar – A Day in the Life of a Woman” clearly explains how women are insulted in society nowadays because of make-up whereas in the past it was a form of respect during Ancient Times:

I put on makeup

… they stalk.

Apply kohl to my eyes

… they humiliate.

Wear lipstick

… they leer.

Wear a dress of my choice

… only to be denuded by their eyes.

How can I call them men – when they sell-off their manhood on streets?

You don’t dress up for them. So why stay silent about them?

Staring at you

‘Accidently’ touching you

Pinching your bottom

Brushing past you

Whistling and honking at you

Making passes at you

Following you

Exposing themselves to you

Pissing in front of you

Masturbating in front of you

Can Lead To

Threatening You

Attacking You

Molesting You

Raping You

Speak up and Raise an Alarm.

Call the police, speak to your parents, teachers, friends, colleagues or boss.

Do anything but don’t stay silent.


Unfortunately, the make-up philosophy is bashed within the years, especially in Asia, where child prostitution is practized in so many shantytowns and bordellos and where so many young teenagers and even children girls are forced to prostitution to feed their families, and then need to apply heavy make-up to attract more mature boys. Make-up philosophy is also insulted when people misuse make-up to get involved into some criminal actions to disguise the crimes they commit, to disguise themselves with fake personalities to betray innocent minds… And when I talk about it, I am not mentioning about cinema nor theatre, nor any kind of stage shows such as dance representations, “living frameworks”, etc. Those kinds of make-ups used in such occasions are artistic make-ups which are linked with the world of show-business and fiction. I am here using the term “make-up bashing” for real life people who misuse make-up to betray other people. Remember one of the episodes of Dynasty, where a woman had to wear a wig and apply the same kind of make-up to resemble Krystle Carrington (played by Linda Evans), as per Samy Jo’s request (Heather Locklear) to kill Krystle’s husband Black Carrington (John Forsythe). Remember the evil clown, who performs in the streets, but who kills people in front of their house. Such phenomenons still exist unfortunately and are insults to make-up.


To conclude, what about all those beautiful women with perfect make-up? Not all of them came with a sincere heart in that marriage. Not all of them did even wonder why I didn’t come to that marriage, and why I didn’t fill my promise to be that Lokni’s Lokni at my turn. And all those beautiful women at my Lokni’s marriage were, for some of them, some hypocrites, deceitful and betraying ravenous wolves who really spoilt my name in the mud, and who were hiding their ugly faces behind so much heavy make-up to unmatch their ugly hearts and souls. Isn’t that an insult to make up and to feminity as well? Yes, it is. For my part, I completely stopped using make-up. I only use it once in a blue moon for some special occasions, but it’s very rare. I don’t care if I need to be compared to a plate without salt by Roman Philosopher Plautus. I know that I have pimples, wrinkles accumulating with age, that I am loosing my youth beauty due to the tiredness of motherhood, marriage life and daily house chores. But at least I try my best to be what I could never be under family and social pressure. I try to be TRUE. I try to be what I am within myself. In other words, I try to be… ME. And for me, being a black sheep for that family full of blind sheeps following a sheep-coated ravenous wolf as their family chief was a torture in the past, but now it’s a blessing, and I thank all of them who tarnished my name in the mud, who blackened me in the name of their family chief. I thank them also for having betrayed me so lowly and for having showed me their true colors behind their heavy make-up. I thank them because thanks to them, I obtained the freedom I could never have in the past, which is the freedom of being my own leader and my own follower at the same time.




Naomi Campbell, or how I could better understand my own angers against innocent people

Before I had to start that new blog post, I wanted to know more about one of the supermodels I admired the most, not only because of her beauty and fame, but also because of all the controversies for which she was accused for so many years: Naomi Campbell.

I have never heard about Naomi Campbell when I was still a child. I discovered her for the very first time of my life in a video clip she shot with Michael Jackson in 1992, “In the Closet“, from his album “Dangerous”. I saw that beautiful black panther dancing and performing intimately with my favorite singer, and I didn’t know how Naomi was so famous, until I came to know her better through the media and magazines. I have heard so much about her equalizing some other beauties from the 90s like Kate Moss, Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelista, Eva Herzigova, Claudia Schiffer, Christy Turlington, Tyra Banks and Stephanie Seymour. I appreciated a lot her single “Love and Tears“, which I appreciated mostly for its melody and for the little Indian touch she put in the music and in her lovely Indian costumes and jewelleries in the video clip, as they match with my Indian origins which I inherited from my father, as well as they are worn by her as a black woman, which reminds as well my African Creole origins I inherited from my mother. I also had the opportunity to read her novel “Swan“, where she wrote about Swan, a supermodel who had to affront several different models coming from different ethnicities, social groups, cultures, but who also hid so many dark secrets behind the glamourous image they showed during fashion shows. That same Swan who will later be involved in a murder scandal committed by another supermodel.

However, I was stunned when I read about how such a successful supermodel like Naomi Campbell could have accumulated so many controversies, especially since since she was also reputed for her violent and angry temperament, which caused so many public scandals and complaints filed against her. Here is the extract of the Wikipedia which details more about her controversies, and that everyone is aware of thanks to the media, those same controversies which tarnished the reputation of someone so popular, but who deep inside, is a kind-hearted woman who just needed to be understood and who was hiding a big secret:

Campbell has been convicted of assault on four occasions, after she was accused 11 times of committing acts of violence against employees, associates, and other individuals between 1998 and 2009. During the first such case, heard in February 2000, Campbell pleaded guilty in Toronto to assaulting her personal assistant with a mobile phone in September 1998. Campbell paid her former employee an undisclosed sum and agreed to attend anger management classes; her record was cleared in exchange for her expressing remorse.[49] By 2006, eight other employees and associates had come forward with claims of abuse.[50] During this time, Campbell was photographed wearing a Chip and Pepper T-shirt that read “Naomi Hit Me…and I Loved It”.[13]

In January 2007, Campbell pleaded guilty in New York to assaulting her former housekeeper, who had accused Campbell of throwing a BlackBerry personal organiser at her in March 2006. Campbell was sentenced to pay her former employee’s medical expenses, attend an anger management program, and perform five days of community service with New York’s sanitation department.[13][51] She attended her community service wearing designer outfits, including fedoras, furs, and—upon completion of her sentence—a silver sequined Dolce & Gabbana gown.[9][13] Campbell detailed her community service experience in a W feature titled “The Naomi Diaries”, and subsequently spoofed herself in a Dunkin’ Donuts commercial, directed by Zach Braff, which showed her breaking her heel while gardening and throwing it through a window.[13]

In June 2008, Campbell pleaded guilty to assaulting two police officers at London Heathrow Airport two months earlier; she had kicked and spat at the officers following an argument about her lost luggage. She was sentenced to 200 hours of community service and fined £2,300,[52][53] and was banned for life from British Airways.[9] In July 2015, Campbell was sentenced to six months’ probation by a Sicilian court for her August 2009 assault on a paparazzo photographer; she had hit him with her handbag for taking pictures of her and her then-partner.[54]

That part of her biography was a part of her that everyone knows very well… But unfortunately, it’s too easy to judge her because of her controversies because she is a public figure. But does everyone has at least a clue about the real cause of her suffering? No one, since she never revealed that secret to anyone, until she appeared in 2010 in an Oprah Winfrey Show and that she revealed openly that she deeply regretted for having made so many innocent people paying for what she has done to them. The reason behind that was a very deep suffering she was trying hard to hide for so many years: Her mother, Valerie Morris, was 19 years old when she gave birth to Naomi as a single mother. Since she was alone in life, Valerie was the only person who could help her little daughter having a better future. She was forced to work, and since she was a popular model and ballerina, she had to travel a lot of times, leaving her young daughter under the responsibility of other staffs working for her. But when Naomi mentioned about her mother who abandoned her without knowing the reasons behind that abandonment, then Valerie Morris interfered in that moment on the phone to confess to Naomi the purpose behind her abandonment, and that with remorse, she came to understand that a mother’s presence with love and affection was more important than the materialistic comfort she could give to her child. And she was right. She thought having done the best thing for her child, but she failed, like most single mothers, in the most important of all for a young child: being affectionately, morally and physically present for her child.

The complex story of working moms: Single working moms, married working moms with husband having insufficient revenue… And happily married housewives being also absent mothers!

I remember having had an exchange of emails with a very good British French pal of mine, and what he mentioned in that email, I will never forget it: When a mother has a husband who earns enough money for raising his family, then it’s not necessary for a mother to work too. That same friend of mine blamed all those women who worked to preserve their professional career when their husband have enough money to assure the family’s future. He was mostly right. Myself, I have stopped working since we came back in Mauritius in September 2009. I started following a lot of medical treatments to be pregnant, and to know more about the struggle I have been facing, you can read it in my blog post “My son… my battle… my biggest victory over infertility“. That moment should have been a moment of joy for our little family… Unfortunately, it was mostly a moment of stress than anything else. If you read “A dirty money story” and “Too much of heaven can bring you underground“, you will better know about how I had been struggling with financial problems, and most of them because of my parents! If you read “A daddy’s daughter’s biggest victory: FORGIVENESS“, you will have a better clue on how, after so many years of grudge against my megalomaniac and too often absent father, I came onto forgiving him, even though I know that I have been so deeply hurt by his emotional and moral absence in my life, in the moments I needed my father the most. This is to give you a clue about a few curses I have been experiencing in life.


I know that a lot among you will reproach me exactly what my sibling told me: Why don’t you go face to face with your mother and tell her in the face everything instead of doing that something public? Easy to say! But no one will ever understand how it is to be face to face with your mother when she hurt you from the beginning, and when, after having told her face to face all your anger against her, that same monster will misuse your words to hurt you again and again! Don’t think that I never tried. I tried in many possible ways… Through a 140 pages letter sent to my father by registered email but which was received by someone else I don’t even know, and who knows whether my father read that letter or not, a letter which was a cry for help from a desperate daughter to her father by telling him all the hidden sufferings I have been accumulating from since childhood, but which remained totally unread since my father preferred rejecting ME, his BLOOD, for HER, his WIFE (for not saying his MISTRESS!), and who gave birth to ME, the ILLEGITIMATE FRUIT, even though the marriage bond was sealed between them! Through some conversations I tried with her so many times, but which unfortunately resulted into insults and emotional blackmails, especially when I was in university! Through one of my husband’s uncle who tried to interfere with my parents to talk to them since a fight exploded between our two families 2 years after marriage, further to all a series of misunderstandings where so many people were involved in, and where, I may admit it, my mother has her own part of responsibility though I admit she is not the only culprit in that matter… a matter which remained unsolved after almost 10 years and made our both families divided for life without any chance of reconciliation! Through some of my relatives who saw the truth about how I was completely different and how my lifestyle and personality were completely different from what my mother used to claim loud with everyone when she never accepted my husband as her son-in-law since he never matched with her type of son-in-law… Those same relatives who took my defence, but who, instead, denied the truth about me and preferred turning against me and completely besides my mother… Those same relatives whom I cherished the most in life, cousins, uncles, aunties, even my own siblings, even my own father… Who rejected the truth and are still blindly followed by that sheep-coated ravenous wolf who already destroyed my life and who destroyed me more since I came to know the truth about her true colors! And some of you want me to say “Mother” and to respect her as my mother? If it was so… Then, what was the need to give me birth then? Better abort me from the beginning so that I would never exist, or even I would have taken birth from another mother who maybe would have loved me and cared for me nah?

I understand how it was so hard for Naomi Campbell for having kept such a heavy secret for so many years and how she was confused with such a situation. In that moment, she ignored the reason behind her mother’s too frequent absence, until her mother had to interfere in the Oprah Winfrey Show to explain herself. This is a social problem which I had noticed too often within the Seychellois society, where I acknowledged so many single mothers who had to afford alone everything for the welfare of their children. Among those single mothers, there is one though I will always admire and cherish, someone I will badly miss when I will step out of Seychelles, and who is my son’s ex-teacher. She is a single mother, though she has found someone adorable whom she is actually dating. She is the daughter of an adorable teenage girl who goes in the same school in which her mother works as a Kindergarden teacher and responsible party. It’s such a huge responsibility, but being a teacher for so many young kids is a wonderful challenge she successfully afforded. My son had a lot of difficulties at school to adapt, but thanks to that teacher, who very often took him apart to help him integrating slowly, but surely, and thanks to her unconditional support and love, she has been like a second mother for him, and that is why I insist with my son to never forget his ex-teacher. But why I always admire her? It’s because she chose a profession which allowed her, maybe not gaining enough money for her and her daughter, but which allowed her, though being a single working mom, being present all the time for her daughter in each of the steps she followed in life. And that was also the best choice that all those Seychellois single women succeeded into making in life, but in which unfortunately Valerie Morris failed, since she was too young and since she thought she made the right career choice for her child.

I have also known so many working women in Mauritius, who are forced to work because their husbands don’t earn enough money to raise their children and for the household of the family. I still remember, among them, my ex-maid, whose husband works as a clerical for all a building in the centre of the island. Since he couldn’t earn enough money for the construction of their house and for affording their children’s education, my ex-maid was forced to work as housekeeper in several families, including in our family to help him. Though both husband and wife work though, they are united through both thick and thin and they always managed to be present for their children in their education, for their welfare and for giving them the affection they needed for their emotional, physical and moral development. They burst in tears so many times due to family pressure like in every Indian-originated Mauritian families, but they never gave up, and thanks to their hard work, they raised two beautiful, healthy and good-mannered children, despite being poor.

And now the third category for which my friend was right: Mothers who had a husband gaining enough money to raise their children. There again I blame my mother, in addition to all what I wrote in the link I mentioned in my blog post, where I screamed all my anger against her. During the five first years of my existence, I was under the responsibility of my cousins, my siblings, a nanny, maids, but never of my mother. My father was gaining enough money for our household, but instead of staying at home to look after me, my mother preferred concentrating on a professional career that my father proposed to her, by being a drugstore owner, since he invested into the repurchase of a drugstore which was bankrupt. At no moment did he think about me at that moment, since he mostly concentrated on giving an occupation to my mother, instead of influencing her for being present in my life since I was a baby. It went on during the 5 first years of my life, until my mother couldn’t afford the drugstore anymore and that it got bankrupt again, forcing my mother to stay at home and look after me and after the household. It was more a burden for her to stay at home than being behind the cashier of that drugstore and than spending her free time on the phone and on entertaining her family with huge parties, as if I never existed in her life. When she tried to catch up those lost childhood years, the 5 first childhood years which were ideal for a child’s development, it was too late. As well as she was absent in my life, as well she became a narcissistic and extremely possessive and authoritarian mother, worse than Hitler, and with such a dictatorial behavior that no intelligent conversation with her was possible, since she could only bark but was the worst listener ever: Either you didn’t have the right to speak, or you said something and she turned it against you! And it’s still the same thing since she never changed and will never accept her mistakes, since she is too proud for that!

I am consent of that… And the fact that I was pregnant and that I gave birth to my son unfortunately increased more the struggle I was already facing. Since the fight which occurred between our families 2 years after our marriage and which remained unresolved till now due to impossibility of dialogue or reconciliation between our families, then imagine how lonely I felt when I gave birth to my son! After delivery I was suffering from post natal depression, and the worst was that I was staying, as per the traditional ritual in Hindu families in Mauritius, 40 days at my in-laws’ place since I was considered insane and since there were lots of rituals and prayers to perform for me as well as for my son and I was considered insane as per the Hindu tradition since I was bleeding after delivery, like every new mother. Even though my in-laws helped me a lot, unfortunately that experience was more a hell to me than ever. I was emotionally and morally blackmailed all the time by my in-laws, mocked and highly criticized for every single little mistake I was doing while looking after my baby as an unexperienced mother, I was also all the time pressurized, as well as my husband, to have our little puppy Honeymoon sold for protecting our child from it, in case Honeymoon would attack the baby by jealousy… And because of that, Honeymoon unfortunately perished dramatically, making both my husband and myself bursting in tears and increasing my own grudge against my father-in-law for all the bad words I kept on hearing from his mouth against me, in addition to all the gossips which influenced him against me, coming from several of my in-laws, and worse, the way he profoundly humiliated and denigrated me in front of everyone in the house while yelling all his hatred against me, treating me as an incapable, as an insane woman, as a dirty woman without hygiene and all sorts of horrible words which still sound in my head, and which could have brought me directly to mental asylum or suicide since I was still suffering from post natal depression, until I was fortunately rescued by my husband and by my psychologist from doing the worse! I also felt lonely and even abandoned by a lot of people, among them some close friends of ours, one of them who even dared accusing me of not looking after my son properly, but who didn’t see my despair and the difficult truth behind my depression, and against whom I still keep grudge even though we had the opportunity to explain the fact together and though he came to know about the truth on how I was really struggling at my in-laws’ place. And the summon behind all that mess was that I was surrounded by 13 people in one household, and got 13 versions on how to rise up a baby, but never knew whom to listen to. Even my husband, who was pressurized by his family, humiliated me a lot even though he had his own parts of struggles due to work and fatigue. During that period as well, we were renting a house which belonged to one of my husband’s uncle who was settled in France, and that also caused so many trouble in our lives since he and his wife, who were childless further to so many problems they had to conceive a baby, kept on criticizing my husband and myself when their house wasn’t properly entertained, and gossiping against us with complicity of that uncle’s in-laws since we didn’t make any efforts, according to them, to have a house on our own! But they didn’t realize how ourselves we were struggling to have my grandmother’s house sold to have that money to buy our own house, like I related in “A dirty money story“! And this to avoid some additional debts to pay with bank!

I still remember also the worst of all: I could never breastfeed my child! Won’t you believe me? Incredible but true! And my father-in-law was totally to be blamed for that! Breastfeeding should be a moment of intimacy between a child and his mother. Unfortunately my father-in-law refused to understand that and forced me to breastfeed my child in front of every woman present in the household, including my husband’s cousin who was still a virgin and who was still single! At some moments, since I couldn’t breastfeed my child, I had to use a special pump to remove the milk and to give him the milk in a baby bottle. But one evening while trying that, my baby had some unexpected colic which had nothing to do with my milk… And my father-in-law dared insulting me and putting the quality of my milk as responsible for my child’s colic!

During all those years of struggles, my parents and my family were completely absent from me, in one hand because several of them abandoned me though they knew very well about the tensions between me and my parents, especially since my parents were in a fight with my innocent in-laws, in another hand since I had to run away from them to protect my marriage life, which was ruined partly because of them and partly by my own fault since I committed some ugly actions in moments of extreme weakness and despair. Those numerous years of struggles I have been accumulating in life since birth got worse unfortunately after marriage and after my child’s birth, which made that through the years, all that silent anger I have been accumulating all in a sudden emerged from me, which made of me a psychologically violent, unbalanced and insane person. The only thing I don’t regret though is the way I expressed my violence against my father-in-law, because the way he did against me, though I admit he was under pressure and did his best to help me, I cannot forget what he did against me, nor forgive him since he really abused of me emotionally. I thought that after that first anger, he would change, but unfortunately, he never changed, and he proved me his true colors after a second violent fight, in which he finally showed his true colors by preferring my sister-in-law than me, finding my sister-in-law better than I am! That made me so mad of anger that a huge fight again exploded between us and increased within me a newly born hatred against my sister-in-law, though we reconciled after so many years of misunderstandings between us due to gossips from our elders and our own part of mistakes when we didn’t really know each other during that period. But since I didn’t have the courage to express my anger, I wrote that experience in a fictional story I published among my short stories, “Sleeping Tablets“, and which also features in my The story was fictive through the characters, but the story itself was a true one, until the last part of the story where Sapna commits suicide and which is purely fictional. That Sapna, for those who read that story, yes, that Sapna that was me. But contrary to her, I didn’t commit suicide, but I fell down temporarily and then little by little am trying to rise again from my ashes, regaining little by little the strength that my father-in-law snatched away from me through this painful revelation about his preference for my sister-in-law, and which torn me in thousands pieces. I know today my father-in-law is trying to be smart with me, but the worst has already been done, because though I laugh and joke with him today, it’s just an appearance because now I know exactly what are his true feelings for me, and it’s too late for him to apologize.

However, I deeply regret that because of my struggles, I made my husband and my son paying for them through my extreme violence, made with animal yells, slaps, punches, physical abuse, swearings, etc. That my husband and my son witnessed from me so many times. Among them, the latest one, which made me reacting and admitting that it was a psychological problem that I had because of all those struggles I have been facing in life and which remained unresolved. Because of a silly misunderstanding between me and my husband, a week ago, and since I was very aggressive with him because of my son who refused to concentrate on his studies, I became extremely violent, throwing things here and there, banging my head on the main entrance door, and the worst of all, I kicked my husband in such a violent way that my husband could have had a heart attack and even maybe died! But for the very first time, contrary to the other times where my husband cried for help from some of our closest friends who suspected that my mother was behind all that anger from me, for the first time, of my own will, I found the courage, in addition to writing that blog post, to cry for help of my own will, and then I called for that friend of mine and related her everything that happened. My friend then told me the words which made the effect of an electroshock: Resolve your problem in your marriage and family life ALONE and calm down, then I will talk to you. I understood that since it was my fault and since I admitted of my own will that it was a problem within myself, I had to ensure the whole responsibility alone and I tried my best to catch up my mistakes. I said sorry to both my husband and my child for having abused of them, and I decided to restart writing, since writing from far was the best therapy for me to get cured from my diseases, and also for cultivating positive vibrations within me. I again, before completing my blog post, revealed to my husband recently that I was writing and not doing my chores contrary to what I pretended with him previously on the phone, because I needed to help myself after the way I deeply hurt him and our son, and that no one else apart myself could help me. Thank God my husband understood me and wasn’t angry. I also reassured him that it wouldn’t delay my chores, since I planned how to finish everything before my son comes back from school.

I will always consider Naomi Campbell as a reference and as a proof that every roses has thorns, and I am very happy that after so many years, she succeeded into having that confrontation with her mother during the Oprah Winfrey show. I think that it’s the reason why today Naomi is a better person, who is full of joy of living and much more calm in her life, such as described in that article. I wish I was as lucky as she was in confronting my parents, my father-in-law and all those who persecuted me for years in life, but I have to survive and to accept with the fact that it’s impossible. The only positive reason though is that my husband is still with me and forgave me, and that through writing my story, even though I know it will never resolve my problem, I will at least have something powerful to share about a sad reality of life that a lot of children and even a lot of women face in this world. There is a saying that you read in shipwreck stories, “Women and Children First!” I laughed when I saw a caricature saying that during shipwrecks, women and children are evacuated first so that men can think about a solution in a calmer way, and at the same time the sharks in the sea won’t be hungry anymore🙂 But no, sorry for you dear sharks, no women, no cry, no children, no future! And when I say sharks, I especially address myself to men who don’t know value of women and children, and also to narcissistic parents and toxic families🙂



Book Reviewing: A new challenge for me


 The idea of creating this blog emerged since last year, when I still had a Facebook account, which I finally deleted further to all a series of personal problems that I have been accumulating in my life and which forced me to delete Facebook permanently from my life and to live my life anew and afresh after a long but yet still incomplete period of recovery.

While I had that blog, I created on it a group, in which I invited a lot of people to adhere to that blog to post links of their freshly published books, so that I can review them, and this free of charge.

Unfortunately the project couldn’t go ahead immediately because of that period of recovery and silence, until I decided to create that blog which you will retrieve on top menu of my blog, entitled “Book Reviews

In that blog, I will propose pages about some interesting authors and bloggers I had the opportunity to meet via linkedin and Facebook and who remained some good friends even though I removed myself from those two social platforms.

I will also propose some constructive reviews, where I will elaborate the story via a synopsis and deep analysis of the characters, places, interesting themes mentioned, interesting scenarios, narrative points of view within the story framework, etc. After this, I will then give my personal opinion as a reviewer, with all the positive and negative points in the book, since I want to give something honest, though I am mostly sure to give mostly positive reviews.

I hope you will enjoy my work, though I admit I haven’t really advanced in it, and that all the authors on that blog will be satisfied of my work.

The New Equation: Friends x Enemies = “Frienemies”

I remember that one day, during my college years, I came into a classroom for a next tuition. I was in secondary school, and we never stayed in the same classroom all the time, but always moved in different classrooms for our tuitions. After the first morning break, I once moved into a classroom, for which the black board hadn’t yet been cleaned, and on which there was a maths tuition written from another teacher to another class before our arrival.

I wasn’t very strong in mathematics, but I remember a lesson of multiplication that I learnt so many times and that you all may remember well:

  • Plus x Plus = Plus
  • Minus x Minus = Plus
  • Plus x Minus = Minus
  • Minus x Plus = Minus

That teacher who wrote the lesson was reputed to be quite eccentric in his way of teaching maths. But though his teaching may have sound funny on that day, it really represented to me a true source of inspiration regarding my new life experiences as an adult. To help his students better understanding those equations, he used metaphors to symbolize those equations, defining the Plus as Friends, and the Minus as Enemies. Here was then the result of his new equation:

  • Plus x Plus = Minus –> The Friend of my Friend is my Friend
  • Minus x Minus = Plus –> The Enemy of my Enemy is my Friend
  • Plus x Minus = Minus –> The Friend of my Enemy is my Enemy
  • Minus x Plus = Minus –> The Enemy of my Friend is my Enemy.

It’s possible in Mathematics, that’s for sure. But it’s not always possible in real life. It is more complex than that and the life experiences I have been facing personally and which I would like to share with you prove that, as well that equation is perfect in mathematics, as well it’s imperfect in everyday life.

  1. The friend of my friend… may also be my worst enemy.

Incredible but true! That happened to me recently since I had the bad surprise of my life after a terrible incident happened between me and a friend of someone whom I really appreciated and whom I considered as my young brother of heart and young guru at the same time. One of his friends once sent me a friends request from her Facebook account, which accepted. For the four first days following approval of her friend request, we never talked to each other, until she approached me and revealed some surprising information regarding something which happened between her and my friend while he visited her overseas. I was so shocked that I thought that it was a hoax and that she was a mess maker who wanted to create some mess in my friend’s private life. Also, without even thinking about what I was doing, I reacted extremely violently and even insulted her, and I even made of that matter a public matter without my friend’s consent! That incident created some useless tensions among our group of friends and because of that, instead of seeing within me someone who tried to protect her dearest one’s privacy against a troublemaker, everyone turned besides him and all of them blamed me and turned against me, including himself. That girl who approached me said to be a friend of my friend, but not only did she become my enemy after what happened, but she also turned everyone in the group from friends to enemy… Including my friend himself! Today, not only we never reconciled, but we became sworn enemies, and that so-called friends dared even creating tensions in my marriage life by involving my husband in that matter! But my husband was clever enough to understand that this so-called friend of mine was in reality a ravenous wolf and a fake friend who only worried for his ego instead of worrying about other people and he never played my so-called friend’s game.

2. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. It’s possible. As well as it’s possible that my friend’s enemy can be my enemy. As well too that it’s possible that my friend becomes my sworn enemy… and that his or her own sworn enemy becomes my best friend.

Yes it’s possible. And that so-called friend of mine proved it right, since he dared brainwashing me against someone whom he dared calling a “friend” since they know each other on the college benches, but despite all, that so-called friend of mine dared tarnishing that “friend”‘s reputation, since he always mentioned that this “friend” always kept on competing with him all the time in an insane way to impress people instead of inspiring people. Like every blind follower, instead of trying to know more about that competitor, I blindly believed my so-called friend’s purposes and I immediately got disgusted against his competitive “friend” without even knowing him in person. But when my so-called friend and I turned sworn enemies, by myself I tried to know more about his competitor with my own opinion independently from others’ opinions, and what I noticed about his personality completely contrasted with all the lies, fake rumors and intox spread against him, not only by social platforms, but even from the local media. I was especially guilty since I saw a blog post he mentioned about, where he denounced a hater who created such a huge bunch of hatred against him, after he published a book about one of our most popular Political Leaders, and which was the result of such a hard work which made of that book a very popular one. It then reminded about my own fault, when myself I blindly trusted my ex-friend about him, and then I had the proof that my ex-friend got all wrong and that himself blindly followed the intox, rumors and hearsays against his competitor, whereas himself. I felt so guilty that I took the courageous initiative to apologise with the competitor, and a few days after the competitor came to know more about me and then told me frankly how I have been escaping from so far since, further to so many attacks against him, I and all the rest of the band could have been jailed for defamation. That made me guiltier, but at the same time, I think that I have been taught one of the toughest life lessons of my life. Maybe some of you won’t believe me, but I never apologised towards the competitor with a spirit of revenge against my ex-friend for having betrayed me, but I apologised towards the competitor since I came to know the truth about him with my own eyes and through my own researches about him. Words are more than enough to tarnish someone’s reputation and to blacken someone’s name, as well as attitude. But where I am thankful to my ex-friend is that, by wanting to influence me against that competitor, he gifted me a new friend within that competitor.

3. The friend of my enemy isn’t always my enemy… It can also be my friend.

I have experienced it so many times. A couple of years ago, further to some gossips a maid proclaimed between me and a good friend of mine, we turned from good friends to sworn enemies too, and this for years. That tension started also being spread on my husband’s professional situation, since my husband was working with my friend’s husband, who was his boss in the same company. Unfortunately, after we, as their wives, turned from friends to enemies because of that maid, who appeared between us as a ravenous wolf who could never bear seeing two women like us being so close to each other, she had the guts to put a mess between us and she succeeded for a couple of years. That created all a series of tensions between the both of us and those tensions also repercuted between our husbands, and then the friendship was temporarily broken. We had a couple of friends whom we had in common, but since the friendship was broken, our couple of friends were then forced to welcome us to their place separately. With time and space, the couple of friends made a try to make both our husbands having a first contact as a start of reconciliation. My husband didn’t mind talking to his ex-boss, since they were no more colleagues after the company shut its doors, and it seems that his ex-boss even burst in tears after he talked to my husband as someone who had a lot of regrets. Little by little they became closer and my husband’s ex-boss revealed to my husband about some serious issues he faced in his new job and which made that he was jobless. At first, I never accepted their reconciliation and persisted that I would keep my position against the ex-boss’s wife. But through time and space, our common friends made us understanding that the friendship between the two husbands and their common friends would be possible but in secret, since no reconciliation would be possible between the two wives. When I heard about it, then I started feeling guilty and then I took conscience that my friend truly loved me, but that I got foolishly blinded by that maid, who was a complete stranger and who succeeded creating a huge mess between the both of us. Also, I damned that maid in my heart, and I decided to repair my mistake by trying a first contact with my husband’s ex-boss, until I could do the first step with his wife. Little by little, all the dark clouds in our friendship got dissipated and our circle of friends got reunited again.

Another proof on how, from friendship to enemity, it’s possible to change, and this because of a third-party who had nothing to do between two friends and who should have stayed away from us, especially if it’s a total stranger or a maid. But the link with the title “the friend of my enemy can also be my friend” is that, as well our common friends esteemed my husband’s ex-boss and his wife, they estimated my husband and myself in an equal way and remained neutral between the altercation which occurred between us, even though they did their best to create a reconciliation between us through that first contact between our husbands. Another proof that it is possible is that, further to the enemity which took birth between me and that so-called friend of mine I mentioned before, in our circle of friends there was a lady who still esteemed him a lot since she had no personal issues with him, but who at the same time supported me greatly and showed me openly where I was right and where I was wrong, and obviously as well where he was right and where he was wrong, with the difference that, contrary to the common friends my husband, his ex-boss, his wife and I had in common, the lady never created any mediation between me and my ex-friend, but instead supported me, by at the same time showing me the right and the wrong and also sharing her own experiences with me, and thanks to her inconditional support and the support I had with some personal friends of mine, though it was very hard at the beginning, I succeeded into forgiving my ex-friend and to move on. Forgiving him not because I accepted what he did to me, nor because I want to be friends with him again, but simply because I estimate I had been suffering enough because of him and that I didn’t have any more strength nor courage to bear the sorrow he caused to me and the tears of blood he made me shedding for such a long time.

4. Finally, the friend of my enemy can also be… a “frienemy”… An enemy disguised as a friend.

Have you ever heard about the Biblical warning regarding false prophets who appear in front of you sheep-coated, but who are in reality ravenous and deceitful wolves? Have you also heard about the term “sugar-coated” words, but for which the inner taste is extremely bitter? This also applies for a “frienemy”, and God knows how many of them came to me when I had that altercation with my ex-friend… They came to me to have my version of the facts and by pretending to be besides me, but after I gave them my version of the facts, they reported me to my ex-friend, exactly as if they were selling me like a vulgar prostitute! That was exactly what I have been experiencing for so many years, not only through strangers, but even in my own family. Unfortunately, there have always been a lot of tensions between me and my parents, since I had the bad luck being a part of a toxic family, among them a passive and indifferent father, and an extremely authoritatian and narcissic mother, like I demonstrated in several of my writings. Things got worse further to that altercation between my parents and my in-laws several years ago, and what was more deceitful was that, most of my family members knew that my parents were wrong and that my mother was a narcissic person, but instead of supporting me, none of them was interested into having my personal version of the facts, and most of them remained indifferent in front of my sufferings and blindly listened to my mother as if they were listening to the Holy Scriptures! By the same way, a few of my family members pretended to support me by having my own version of the facts, but instead, they misused my purposes against me by repeating everything to my mother, and then I came to know that those relatives of mine acted as spies and were sent by my mother herself! What was most deceitful was that those relatives of mine who betrayed me were the ones I cherished the most in the past, and who didn’t even hesitate to stoop so low and to be so disloyal with me! So many years of so-called loyal relationship suddenly thrown in dustbin, which made of me the new black sheep of the family!


As well as mathematics represents an exact science art, it’s not the same thing for the feelings and relationship equations nowadays, in a world made of so much hypocrisy and ego. And “frienemies” are unfortunately not only among the strangers who bark uselessly because they don’t know you, but also among the society that you frequent, and even within your own circle and your own family. Remember when Lord Jesus was betrayed by Juda, one of his apostles, before being sentenced to death in exchange of the thirty pieces of silver. That was exactly how some of my relatives betrayed me because of my narcissistic mother. One of my relatives was offered a golden chain and a pair of ear rings in exchange of revealing all my confidences I did when I was in pain against my parents. One of them reconciled with my mother since she was thankful to my mother for having cherished her when she was still a little girl and since my mother proposed her hospitality during her holidays recently for her younger sister’s marriage. And so many of them are acting like this. Same for my so-called friend, who succeeded into attracting so many people who befriended me against me because of his overseas friend whom I once attacked in the framework of protecting my so-called friend’s privacy, and this by satisfying those people’s personal needs. And that is how “frienemies” appear: Fake friends who won’t hesitate to snatch you in exchange of some favors offered to them by your enemies. And for me, “frienemies” and “enemies” are the same, with the difference that “frienemies” are more difficult to recognize. The other difference as well is that it’s rare that enemies regret their past actions against you, but “frienemies”, when they come to know the truth about you, come to you and then repair their mistakes and apologise, but unfortunately most of the time too late. Finally, true friends are like precious stones but rare, and none of the poisonous gifts given to them by your sworn enemies will affect them, and they won’t even hesitate to throw those gifts in the enemies’ ugly faces as well.